Six Sneads: Mr. T

Want to know what Mr. T is doing right now? He's been in bed for 2 1/2 hours. He's still talking! Laughing! Happy as can be! Matt and I are ready for bed, but the way Tobey's still talking, it sounds like he has another 2 1/2 hours before he decides to fall asleep!

How do I even describe this little stinker? The first year with Tobey was so hard! He had a very negative outlook on life. His favorite word was "no". I'd feed him his favorite breakfast. He'd eat it quickly in delight. I'd ask, "Wow, those waffles are so yummy aren't they?" His response, "No." He finally turned a corner around February, and now at least 50% of the time he says, "YES!"

He has the most amazing eyes. I think he is incredibly handsome! My little African boy has straight, soft hair! Definitely not what we expected when we decided to adopt from Ethiopia. When we are Stateside, people frequently as us where the kids were adopted from. When we say Ethiopia, some respond, "Well what about Tobey?" Almost everyone we meet says that he looks like he's from India. Actually, a good friend of ours here was born in India and later adopted. Then, prior to coming to China, she lived in Ethiopia for two years. She had heard about our family and was excited to meet us. When she first saw us, she thought, "Well, that can't be them. They have one child from Ethiopia but the other is from India." I find it to be quite funny!

Tobey has the greatest need of all of our kids to feel safe and secure. Having a consistent routine is what has helped him show so much improvement. The two months this summer in the States was hard for him. While he had lots of good times, he was also frequently unhappy, stubborn, mean. The first night we got back to China, he went straight to his bedroom and laid in bed. After about 15 minutes he finally got up to play. He was so happy to be home that he went straight to his bedroom...the place where he feels safe...the place where he lies in bed for hours at night talking to himself happily...the place where he knows no one is watching...the place where he feels he can let it all out and be himself. I long for the day when he feels safe enough to talk and laugh for hours when we are watching.

Matt said something recently that may sound redundant to some of you, but to me it made perfect sense. We were talking about how well Tobey has done the last few weeks since coming him, talking about how happy he was again. Matt said, "Tobey thrives when he has routine, and when he has routine he thrives." Redundant? Maybe a little. And yet so, so true!

The two year mark has just passed since we received his referral, since his birth mom said good-bye. As difficult as things were for a while, we still love and adore this little man. We pray that one day his wounds will fully heal, that he will feel completely safe and secure.

I love these pictures! He's loved painting! Good thing he was playing in the water when he was done.