Why?

We get asked quite frequently why we adopted Eden and Tobey.  The Chinese very rarely adopt.  For many it is nowhere on their radar.  Like I said in our last post, when it's someone we likely won't see again, we don't say a whole lot, simply that they are all our children.  But there are many people we will see again, some that we see almost daily.  After living in the same neighborhood for 5 years and no intentions of moving from here, we have gotten to know the neighbors quite well.  There is a mom of a little girl that played with Vera when she was our only child.  Then, clingy little Kai came along.  A year and a half later after several months in the U.S., we showed up with two more kids.  This mom has asked lots of questions about why we adopted.  The latest, however, really frustrated me.  She said, "But now that you've adopted, Kai doesn't get as much of your time.  He used to be so close to you and now he has to split his time with two more kids."  I try to be gracious.  I try not to get angry or frustrated, especially when it's someone I have a relationship with.  If she was anyone else, I'd have probably made some kind of snide comment.  I simply told her that if I was worried that one of my children wasn't getting enough time, it certainly wasn't Kai I was worried about.  He still demands about 50% of my time as he's such a mommy's boy!  And honestly, I'm not sure what she's talking about.  I'm guessing that what she remembers is Kai as a little baby, me holding him in my arms as Vera played.  He's 3 now.  He doesn't want to sit on my lap as the other kids play.  He's playing WITH them!  We've been asked frequently how Vera and Kai feel about their adopted siblings...if they love them, if they get along, if they fight.  We respond that yes, they love them. Yes, they get along.  Yes, they fight.  They are siblings!!!  Is there anything "wrong" with having 4 kids instead of 2?  Would we be getting these questions if our 4 children were all biological siblings?  In a cultural that usually only has 1 child, and the "lucky" ones have 2, 4 children seems like too many.  Sure, we have to balance who does what when.  Sure, their toys are mostly shared instead of their own.  Yes, they have to share a bedroom.  But so what?  Our children ALL have a mom, a dad, and siblings!  We could have lived a more comfortable life, had the "perfect" family of a mom, a dad, a boy, and a girl.  But God led us down a different path.  We didn't set on our adoption process to find a "best friend" for our Vera or Kai.  We gave the agency a few parameters: two children, related or not, at least one boy, both younger than Vera but any age within that.  We first got Eden's referral.  The next little boy that came into care was Tobey.  It just so happened that the girls were close in age and the boys were close in age.  While that brings about some competition, it also has given each of our kids a sibling "best friend".  We thank God for our family that He has knitted together so perfectly, all 6 of us.

As the kids have played together the last few days, I've been taking the time to notice what a blessing it is to have siblings.  This is only a small sampling of the many times I've found them enjoying one another.

Vera and Eden searched their drawers until they were both all pink.  They even had on matching panties!

This is one of the boys' favorite things to do together.

Crash!

The girls were examining the giraffe's rear end.  The determined that he had a birthmark! 

The girls got to go to an outdoor concert together for Daddy-Daughter  Date Night.

We found the boys sitting like this staring out the balcony window on Saturday morning.  They were watching together for taxis to drive by.

We feel that our children have not lost anything by our family deciding to adopt.  Yet, they have gained so much, one thing being the gift of siblings.